Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Biggest Fear

What's your biggest fear? Its a simple questions. Some may say spiders, or snakes or heights.

I say failure.

Mostly Momma Failure.

Oliver is at the age where he wants to be independent. I let him spread his wings and try new things, but in the back of my head I am always wondering "is that enough?"
My mind starts to race, I get hot and sweaty and my face gets red when I think about all the things I am doing and worrying if they are the right things.

Is he eating enough?
Does he get enough sleep?
Are we reading enough books?
Should he be around more kids his own age?
TV? Should he watch TV?
Is he growing on track?

All these questions float around in my head and I wonder and I worry and I lose sleep over it.

I just don't want to screw him up.

I read books.
I talked to other Mommas.
Heck I took care of other peoples children for years --
yet when it comes to my own, sometimes I feel so incredibly lost.

4 comments :

  1. Sounds stressful in that head of yours!

    I do feel guilt about my mothering when I think I could do things better, but you just have to remember - No parent is perfect. Whatever you do wrong, you will more than make up for in another area. All parents who love their children do.

    My biggest fears - Eating spoiled food and the possibility that my daughter won't turn out to be someone who loves what is right.

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  2. Wow! I thought that I was crazy for thinking these same things. I worry most about it when I have a bad day and end up handling a situation in a less than perfect way. My fear, Aaden growing up not being the best he can be because of something I am doing now. Best of luck!

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  3. Aw, sweetie, this parenting thing does seem like a shot in the dark, doesn't it? I want my kiddos to learn to love God with all their hearts....that's what I aim for.

    New to your blog through the blog hop. :)

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  4. comimg from heart therapy ... hangin there momma ... you're not alone ... i think many moms (me) have the same fears ... i think this is why it's so important to surrender our all (our motherhood too) over to God and place it at His feet! we're in this together :) thanks for sharing!

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