Friday, December 30, 2011

Month 1

I'm sitting here sipping my coffee, watching the news and listening to my littles sleep. One is still in bed and my littlest little is peacefully dreaming in his swing.

He is one month old today
Where did this last month go? Oh Please make time slow down.

Time is a funny thing when you have children. I impatiently waited for Landon to arrive for weeks. The days dragged on. But Now that he is here, the days fly by. Our days are so busy that we don't have time to stop and look at the clock.

Every moment he's growing and changing. And becoming his own little person.
I'm not sure what I did to get two easy children. I swear Landon hardly ever cries. And when he does - it means he's hungry. Which he is, like every 3-4 hours.

The adjustment to life with a newborn has gone smoothly. For everyone. Especially Oliver. I wasn't sure how he would take it once the glamour of the "bay bee" wore off, but one month in and he still loves his baby brother as much as he did the first time he met him.

It warms my heart to see my children so happy.

And Landon, well Landon loves him too. You can see it. He follows Oliver with his eyes and will watch him play. He tolerates being covered in toy cars and stuffed animals. They are already great friends.

Some favorites
. Landon's sweet baby smell
. My boys holding hands
. Olivers eagerness to feed Landon
. Sleep smiles
. Early morning cuddles with Landon
. Landon's ability to hold up his head
. How he follows our voices with his eyes
. When Landon cuddles he curls up into a ball

Some days are chaotic and some days are messy but I don't ever want to forget these moments. I know how fast they go, it makes me sad but I am excited to see Landon grow up and who he will be....

....but time could just slow down a little.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Wordless Wednesday and Remembering my Dad

I haven't completely lost my mind, I'm aware it's Friday. But I did forget to post this Wednesday and it's too cute not to share.

Three years ago yesterday I lost my dad.
It was expected, he wasn't well but the timing was terrible.
Nothing like losing your father 3 days before Christmas - it makes this time of year very difficult.

I've been thinking of sharing more of "my story" and I will someday but for right now I'm not completely ready.
However, I will share what happened to my dad.

Let me start by saying he was a good man, an amazing father and a very hard worker.
He was also extremely talented
I believe that he gave me my creative bone.
He was also an alcoholic.

From a young age I remember my dad with a beer in his hand.
When you're a child you don't think much of it.
As I got older, I realized it went beyond normal and he had a problem.
He was sick, he had a disease
but it wasn't as simple as taking some medicine to fix it
or make it go away.

In 2004 I received a call at 3am.
It was the hospital calling to tell me my dad was there.
In the ICU.
With severe brain damage.
They weren't sure he would make it.
I was 20 years old.

 Because my parents were divorced
I was responsible for making all the decisions on my dads care.
It was a big responsibility thrown onto my shoulders.

My dad had been drinking and decided to drive his ATV without a helmet.
We're not exactly sure what happened but he fell off and hit his head.
He was taken to the hospital by Mercy Flight.
He had a few broken bones and a lot of bleeding on his brain.
He spent the next week in a coma in the ICU.
When he woke up he didn't remember anything.
And sometimes he didn't remember me.

He fell into a deep depression and refused to participate in any therapy.
After four months the hospital moved him to a nursing home
where he lived for 3 years.
And eventually died.

The holiday season brings back all of these memories of my childhood with my father.
It makes me sad that my boys will never know him.
I know he is with us and I tell Oliver about him
and I'll eventually tell Landon too.

I just wish I could hear his voice one more time.
Or smell his soap.
I miss hearing him call me "Helen" (my middle name)
And I even miss our fights.
I know he is at peace now
and not in pain
That gives me some comfort but it still hurts.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Landons Room Revealed

When I was pregnant with Oliver we had just purchased our house. I wasn't sure about anything. And making a decision about a baby nursery overwhelmed me.
Ryan and I decided that if the baby was a girl - I could decorate the room. If it was a boy he wanted to decorate it.
Obviously he won.

This time around, I am starting to figure out my style. I knew what I liked and what I didn't want.

Oliver's room is woodland creature. And while it was super cute - it got old, fast. And it never felt personal - it felt from the store (because it was).

For Landon I knew I wanted it to be homemade. I've had time to think about what I liked and I knew I wanted the room to be gray and yellow.
Ryan asked if we could throw some *tough* boy colors of blue and green into the mix and I agreed.

I love elephants so I knew I wanted to incorporate them too. However, I wanted them to be accents not the main theme.
The Bumper
Now I know bumpers are a controversial topic. This was our choice and I ask that if you are against them to please respect our choice and not leave comments about it. Ryan and I made the decision to use them for Oliver as well as Landon.

The bumpers were made by me. It was my first real sewing project (minus a pillow cover or something simple). These were actually very easy. I bought the foam bumper pads from Joanns and the fabric online. They are tied on with black ribbon. I used this tutorial. However, I tweaked it a bit.

The Mobile
Oliver loved his mobile. However I didn't. I was a wind up one so once it unwound the music would stop and the animals would stop moving.
This time, I didn't want music. I didn't want one where I had to keep winding up.
The mobile is made from an embroidery hoop wrapped in yarn. From the hoop I tied fishing line. I punches out circles from different colored card stock and glued them sandwich style (paper/fishing line/paper). We attached more fishing line and hung it from the ceiling with a hook.

Its so important to me to include Oliver in on this major event. His life will be changing dramatically too. I wanted him to make something for his baby brother - even if he doesn't completely understand. Someday he will.
I gave him some paint. Two different brushes (regular and foam) a few forks, sponges and a stick and let him go to town.
I love the way it turned out! I may have him make another one.

The Extras
I seen these on Etsy. I'm cheap and knew I could totally make them myself and save some money. So that's what I did. They are my favorite part of the room.

The room isn't finished yet. We still need to paint a bookshelf that my dad gave me. And I plan on hanging up some shelves.
It turned out better than I could of ever imagined. I'm proud of myself for not procrastinating (too much) and putting it way.

Oliver's big boy room is next!!
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Life with Landon

Hi, I'm back.
Kind of.

Two kids are challenging. It's been difficult to find the time to sit down and write, but I will be back again. Eventually.
Never fear, I do have some interesting things to share in the days and weeks ahead.

So Life with Landon.
Is amazing.

He is 2 weeks old already.
It's just nuts to me how fast these last two weeks have went.
He changes every day. He currently weighs 8lbs 14oz and is 21.26 inches long.
He eats about every 3 hours.
I thought the lack of sleep was going to get to me but I must be use to it or something because it hasn't bothered me at all.

This child is such a joy and he is so easy.
I don't know if its a 'been there done that' kind of thing or if he really is just a good baby. Either way
I'll take it.

Oliver is so in love with his "baybee".
From the moment he wakes up in the morning until the time he goes to bed all he talks about is the baybee.
He loves to help feed Landon. And he will stand next to the changing table and watch while I change his diapers.
All the guilt that I felt while I was pregnant is gone. Seeing my children together completes me.
I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Oliver
but that saying 'your heart and love grow' is so true.
This little person has completed my heart and completed our family.

Now let me blow up your computer screen with pictures.

In their Big Brother/Little Brother shirts I made

Sharing Toodles.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Baby Landon's Birth Story

I had a doctors appointment Tuesday November 29th. I was 41 weeks and 4 days. I knew if I made it that long that we would be discussing an induction. My doctor asked what my plan was and I asked if I could wait it out a little longer. He checked me and told me I was 3cm. Then he said he would let me wait it out until Friday December 2nd if the baby wasn't out by then, I needed to be at the hospital by 9am to be induced. He was pretty confident I wouldn't make it to Friday.

After my appointment I had a few random contractions and some cramping. I was also spotting. All good signs that labor was hopefully on it's way. As the day progressed I started feeling "different" but I felt different before and I really didn't want to get my hopes up.

Around 1:45 Wednesday morning (November 30th) I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I thought my water broke but it didn't. I was still cramping and I felt some contractions. My husband got up and we sat and watched tv for awhile. My contractions were starting to become a little more regular at this point so around 2:30 I decided to go lay in bed and try to sleep for awhile. I started timing them while laying in bed. They were between 5-7 minutes apart. I hung out in bed for an hour and they kept coming. I got up and figured this was it. I took a shower got myself ready and around 5:30 woke up Ryan. The contractions were getting a little stronger at this point, I could tolerate them but I did need to actually stop what I was doing and really concentrate on breathing.

I cleaned the house up a bit and around 6:15 i called my grandma. She was coming to watch Oliver. She showed up at 7:15 and Ryan and I left for the hospital. During the ride there my contractions were super strong. I have no idea how far apart they were but when they came on I had a hard time getting through them. At one point I was actually mooing. Ryan was laughing at me for it, then I felt my water break in his car. On his seat. I told him thats what he got for picking on me.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot and my water gushed again and thats when the pain was truly intense. I could hardly walk to the door. They came with a wheelchair and wheeled me to labor and delivery. This was at 8:01am.

I got into my room, the contractions kept coming. I was begging everyone for a epidural. They needed to get my iv started and i wasn't even out of my clothes yet. My nurse came in, she was an angel I swear. She was so sweet and kept telling me that "we'll work for that epidural" but they needed to check me first.

They checked me and I was 7cm! She let me labor any way i wanted. They hooked me up to the monitors but I was free to move if I needed. They weren't too concerned - everything was moving that fast. One of my doctors from the office came in she was on call and was going to be delivering the baby. A midwife also came in.

I had a room full of all these women. I felt so much support. I still kept asking for the epidural my nurse kept saying, "we'll work for one" then she reassured me that in a few more contractions I would have my baby.

I started feeling a lot of pressure. They were so supportive of me pushing if I felt like I had too. So I did. They checked me again and I was 10cm. I was still freaking out over the epidural but between my nurse, the midwife and my doctor they had all pretty much convinced me that I could do it. I finally surrendered and just let go. Once I let go of my fear and pushed it didn't even hurt. It actually felt good. I never felt "the ring of fire" or anything.

Ryan was wonderful. I kept asking for cold wash cloths. In between contractions when I "was human" I was picking on him - telling him he was a great washcloth giver. He just hung out next to me there wasn't much for him to do everything was moving so quickly.

I pushed for maybe 5 minutes and Landon was born at 9:02am on Wednesday November 30th. He weighed 8lbs 11oz and was 21inches long.

My original plan was to go drug free. Once my water broke and the contractions became that intense I wanted the epidural. I am so thankful for the nurse, midwife and my doctor encouraging me to just keep going. I can say that I am proud of my self too. There was something so powerful about being in a room full of women basically cheering me on. It gave me the strength to push through the pain.

I felt amazing after delivery. They let us hang out in the delivery room for a few hours and just spend time together. Then I got to take a shower and was moved up to the recovery room. My recovery has been amazing. I had a small tear and needed a few stitches. Other than that i feel great.

Landon is amazing. He's so chubby and cuddly. He hardly cries and is content just hanging out.
Oliver is an awesome big brother. He is so in love with his "baybee" and wants to spend all the time with him.

I know being home with two kids is going to be an adjustment...for all of us but I'm so excited and happy for my little family.


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