Friday, December 23, 2011

Wordless Wednesday and Remembering my Dad

I haven't completely lost my mind, I'm aware it's Friday. But I did forget to post this Wednesday and it's too cute not to share.






Three years ago yesterday I lost my dad.
It was expected, he wasn't well but the timing was terrible.
Nothing like losing your father 3 days before Christmas - it makes this time of year very difficult.

I've been thinking of sharing more of "my story" and I will someday but for right now I'm not completely ready.
However, I will share what happened to my dad.

Let me start by saying he was a good man, an amazing father and a very hard worker.
He was also extremely talented
I believe that he gave me my creative bone.
He was also an alcoholic.

From a young age I remember my dad with a beer in his hand.
When you're a child you don't think much of it.
As I got older, I realized it went beyond normal and he had a problem.
He was sick, he had a disease
but it wasn't as simple as taking some medicine to fix it
or make it go away.

In 2004 I received a call at 3am.
It was the hospital calling to tell me my dad was there.
In the ICU.
With severe brain damage.
They weren't sure he would make it.
I was 20 years old.

 Because my parents were divorced
I was responsible for making all the decisions on my dads care.
It was a big responsibility thrown onto my shoulders.

My dad had been drinking and decided to drive his ATV without a helmet.
We're not exactly sure what happened but he fell off and hit his head.
He was taken to the hospital by Mercy Flight.
He had a few broken bones and a lot of bleeding on his brain.
He spent the next week in a coma in the ICU.
When he woke up he didn't remember anything.
And sometimes he didn't remember me.

He fell into a deep depression and refused to participate in any therapy.
After four months the hospital moved him to a nursing home
where he lived for 3 years.
And eventually died.

The holiday season brings back all of these memories of my childhood with my father.
It makes me sad that my boys will never know him.
I know he is with us and I tell Oliver about him
and I'll eventually tell Landon too.

I just wish I could hear his voice one more time.
Or smell his soap.
I miss hearing him call me "Helen" (my middle name)
And I even miss our fights.
I know he is at peace now
and not in pain
That gives me some comfort but it still hurts.
Everyday.

1 comment :

  1. This made me teary eyed. I'm so sorry that you have this loss to carry with you. My dad is alive, but I can't imagine what it would be like with him gone. I never want to go through that.

    I hope you find comfort in the promise at John 5:28,29 where God promises to bring back to life those we have lost in death.

    ReplyDelete

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