Monday, April 16, 2012

I'm not the Momma I thought I'd be....


.....But I love the Momma I am.

Before I had kids, I was the perfect parent. I had it all figured out, or so I thought. Then I actually became a parent and all my ideas went down the drain.

Things aren't always what they seem. My life, our life, is far from perfect.


My children don't get a bath everyday and that's okay. They will survive if they aren't washed down with Johnsons & Johnsons daily.

Sometimes dinner is waffles. Or peanut butter and jelly or cereal. I don't make a home cooked meal everyday and that's okay. Their life won't be ruined if they eat an Eggo for dinner.

The T.V. is on a lot. And by a lot I mean all day. It doesn't mean my children are always watching it, they are too busy dumping pasta on the floor or clogging the toilet with toilet paper, but it's on. And that's okay. Their life doesn't revolve around the television but if it wasn't for NickJr my kid probably wouldn't know his colors, or Mandarin Chinese.

Speaking of pasta on the floor. One may ask why I don't have child locks on the cabinets? Well, friends I do. However, the only people childproof locks keep out, are adults. Toddlers laugh at childproof locks, while they are dumping flour all over the floor and eating chocolate chips out of the bag.

Pajamas. They aren't always changed, or clean, and most times they don't match. If it's not a one piece footie pajama there is a guarantee that it won't match. And that's okay. My child isn't going to live a long life of unhappiness because his pajamas didn't match. I'm sure he will be just fine.

There is laundry in the washer, there is laundry in the dryer. Laundry in baskets waiting to be folded and laundry in baskets waiting to be put away. Our life isn't better, or worse just because our laundry is everywhere.

We don't have a home out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. And that's okay.

We don't have play dates plans daily, or weekly for that matter. And that's okay. Oliver has his whole life for play dates, staying home and hanging out will only last for so long. I don't believe he's going to suffer and spend his life as a hermit, just because he wasn't at a play date everyday when he was 2.

We don't eat at the dinner table every night. This was a big one for me because I thought to be a good family one must sit at the table every single night. Well, I realized it's okay if we don't. Some days sitting on the floor having a carpet picnic is just as special as sitting around the table.

Most days, it's a struggle to survive. I hardly ever sit down, yet nothing seems to get done. I forget a lot and start things I never finish. Why? Because I have two little people who depend on me for every. little. thing.

Its tough.

It's hard.

Motherhood isn't for wimps.

There are days {most} where I don't feel like playing with Legos. And that's okay, Oliver isn't going to be broken and need therapy because I told him, "not right now." He's learning independence and when the guilt creeps up and says, "how could you say no to him?" I respond back, "he's fine, he's doing it on his own and he's happy that I am here."

There are days when I let Landon cry. Not to the point where he is hyperventilating and upset, but long enough to finish eating my dinner, or long enough to wipe after I pee {tmi? yeah, maybe - but you know they cry the minute you sit on the toilet} or long enough to get those waffles out of the freezer and into the toaster. I let him cry not because I am mean or a bitch or a horrible mom, I let him cry because I know he's fine. He's not going to break, he's not going to be messed up for the rest of his life because his mom let him cry for a few extra minutes.

Being a good mom doesn't mean giving in to every cry or every invitation to play. Being a good mom is knowing when to step up and step in and knowing when to back off and let them figure it out on their own.

I am not the Momma I thought I'd be, but I love the Momma I am. And by the look of these two faces, they love the Momma I am too.


12 comments :

  1. Great post! As a soon to be new mum, I'll try to take a leaf out of your book and not worry about having everything 'perfect'. Thanks!

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  2. Amazing! I love the child proof locks part and I giggled out loud about the wiping to pee. I definitely had it all figured out before I had Riley. Then she came along and somedays I feel like I'm her puppet. I think most importantly we show we love our childen by reflecting on the lives that we lead with them. I'm so glad you shared this!

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  3. I literally laughed out loud about the crying as soon as you have to go pee part. LOL.
    But, like the fist comment, as a mommy to be, I love your honesty and encouragement that everything
    doesn't and won't be perfect always and its okay! They know you love them and that's where its at:)

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    Replies
    1. It never fails, the minute you go they need you RIGHT THIS MINUTE!! Just do the best you can, that's all that matters!!

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  4. This is 100% spot on and the life I'm living now with two boys also. Thanks for posting!!

    Hope you have a great week!

    ~Samantha
    www.thepeanutsgang.com

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  5. i read this earlier, and then while doing the dishes Darren started talking about how quick the time the boys had off of school was, and how he wishes he could do things different...almost wishing he could be "superman" and do it all...i had him read this, and he said "thank you for the thereapy, i am glad other people think like i do" and when he got to the end and saw the pics of the boys he said.."where has the time gone, i cant believe how big the baby is and that oliver (looking so big now) is the little boy who used to play on the other side of the gate on your grandparents porch smiling at him and the kids :) perfection yet again lindsay! :)

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  6. I resemble this post. :) Thanks so much. There's laundry in my dryer right now, my kids are watching TV, fish crackers are squished into the carpet, but we played in the park earlier today and I might make supper tonight (or we might have sandwiches again!) and it's just another day as a mom. :)

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  7. I love it! I could have written this myself! Brilliant!

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  8. This sounds like my house!! Lol! Great post!

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  9. Thanks for making me feel a little better about the things I feel guilty about too. Nice to know I'm not the only one!

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  10. I love this post...It actually bought tears to my eyes because I was that "Mommy To Be" one day, 4 years ago before my oldest girl, that thought this was going to be easy...I work fulltime at a high paced gov't agency and when I get home, sadly, I'm tired...I often felt so bad when I didn't play with my girls right when they asked me (I actually still do....sometimes) but they won't "break" and they are ok...and with saying that, they are OK, forreal! So thanks for that reassurance today...You've encouraged me to go home, take a deep breath at the front door and enjoy my babies today!

    Like Moose A. Moose used to say on Nick Jr. "I'm a perfectly, IMperfect parent"...and that's as perfect as it's gonna get!!

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