Thursday, August 16, 2012

i don't love you anymore...




That's what he said to me from his car seat in the backseat of the car.

He looked at me though his little mirror, met my eyes and said "No Momma, I don't lub yew anymore!"

At that moment, my heart broke a little. I'm not gonna lie, the tears welled up in my eyes. I blinked them back because I didn't want him to know he hurt me.

Then he let out a little smile. I knew he didn't mean it, but boy did it hurt.

Where did he learn that from? I have never said anything like that. How did he know the correct context to put it in? He's getting too smart.

Michele Wade Photography

My little boy is growing up so fast. I love all the things he does, good and bad believe it or not. I actually find myself laughing sometimes when he does something wrong. I try to hide my laugh of course, I don't want him to think its okay, but sometimes it really is funny.

I know this sweet child loves me, its obvious when he crawls up on my lap with a blanket and a book, "Read, Momma?" How could I ever turn down that sweet little voice? Or when he comes up and asks for a hug. Or when he shows me a picture that he drew for me on his Magna Doodle. "I drew for yew Momma, it's a futterfly!"

Oliver is two and a half today. TWO AND A HALF. Someone please tell me where this time has gone. Where the little baby went and when this...boy arrived.

Michele Wade Photography

And a boy he is. All boy. He loves Star Wars and hockey. Soccer and baseball. Music and dancing. Playing the drums and getting dirty. He is an entertainer, loves to make everyone laugh and loves to laugh himself. He loves people and kids. He loves his brother, he really loves his brother.
He's a helper and is kind. He will help me clean up and if Landon cries, he will immediately run to him,  give him a hug and tell him, "Don't cry Wrinkles, I'm here for you Buddy!" He's done that all on his own, no props from us. That amazes me. The love he has for his baby brother, the love he developed all on his own makes my heart want to burst.

He is a sensitive soul though. He will cry at the drop of a hat. I'd say that he gets that from me, but he might get it from Ryan too. He's easily distracted though, if he has been hurt emotionally or physically a hug and some kisses usually does the trick.

He's observant. Picks up on things (good and bad) without us even bringing them to his attention. He pays attention to detail and knows when something has changed. He's wise beyond his two and a half years. And curious. He is so curious, about everything. He can be heard saying, "What's that for Momma?" "What's that for Daddy?" many times a day. I love his curiosity for life and everything around him, seeing him become so excited about the littlest things makes me excited because I know to him those little things are the big things. Having root beer floats for dinner and watching Star wars, or waking him up to go see the fireworks on the Fourth of July. Those moments are what he will hold dear to his heart. Those moments are what I hold dear. They are the things he still talks about, even after the moment has passed.

Michele Wade Photography

I love him so much. So much it hurts sometimes. I look at him and my eyes fill with tears. Not because I am sad or anything. But because I feel so blessed. I am lucky to be his mother, I am lucky to have such a sweet, kindhearted, funny child in my life.

These last two and a half years have been a roller coaster. Having him in the seat next to me, holding my hand when I was scared and wanted to get off. Encouraging me to just keep going by giving me a sweet baby smile, or a giggle. Letting me know that I wasn't failing when he learned how to walk. Having patience with me, when I didn't have them myself. Loving me unconditionally, when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. This little man has taught me so much in his short life, things I could never imagined a child could teach. I love him. And when he says, "I don't love you anymore".....I love him even more!

Michele Wade Photography

10 comments :

  1. Aww, I totally know how you feel! When my little guy gets mad at me he tells me I'm not his best friend anymore. I don't know where they come up with this stuff! And if you ever find a way to slow the time down, let me know! Our little boys are getting too big! :)

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  2. I don't know if you meant to do it but thanks for making me cry!!!

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    1. Ha. I'm sorry. My husband read it this morning and he's like 'oh you're going to have everyone crying today!" thanks for reading!!

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  3. AW! What started out as a sad day turned into a sweet, sweet post! Little boys can be such stinkers and such sweeties at the same time!

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  4. ohhhh... those darn kids just break our tender hearts sometimes don't they?? My 4 year old started saying "I'm not going to play with you then!" Usually I just say "Okay.. that's fine." And he immediately replies with "NO! I am! I AM! I'm gonna play with you mom!" Lol.. Following your cute blog from the Mommy-Brain Mixer.
    http://lifeonmavenue.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-mom-lets-chat.html

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  5. Ummmm you made me cry. Its like you took my thoughts and wrote them out (in a way more clear style than I could have). My little guy turns three soon and his go to phrase when he is upset with me is I don't like you anymore. Makes me sad every time, but than 15 minutes later he wants to cuddle.

    Newest follower from the mixer.

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  6. This is such a sweet post! They grow up so quickly. It's really amazing how much they suddenly learn and pick up.

    I'm sure you're a great mom :).

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  7. Oh no! My boy just recently said he doesn't love me for the first time too and it really hurts! I know he doesn't know what he's saying too, but it's still hard to go through :(

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  8. Believe it or not, I dread hearing those words! I'm so sure that every parent must hear them at least once, and I'm also sure that I might be very close to tears when my time comes! Even though we, as parents, know that they don't mean it, it's still seems like it would be so hard to hear. You are such a wonderful mommy and so full of love for those boys!

    I'm SO glad you linked up to the Mommy-Brain Mixer, Lindsay! I hope to see you again on Thursday! :)

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    ReplyDelete

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