Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What Happened to My Bladder?

It's still there, but it's kind of....defective.

If you are curious and want to know what really happened to my bladder, continue on. If you think I have completely lost my mind and could give two you-know-whats, here, go read this instead!

When you get pregnant and the baby begins to grow, all the other organs and fun stuff living in that area need to pack up their stuff and move out of the way. Babies, they are selfish even in the womb. They want their space and they will kick and punch to make sure they get it. When things get pushed and kicked for 9....ten months they get angry and they fight back after the baby is born.

They fight back, by playing tricks on you. The bladder, thats the trickiest one of all. For example, while washing dishes the other day, it hit me, the holy-crap-you-better-run-as-fast-as-you-can-right-now-before-you-pee-down-your-leg-feeling.

Please, tell me I'm not the only one who knows that feeling?

I fight back. I refuse to give into the bladder who is still pissy (ha!) at me for having not one but two babies. So I break out the pee pee dance. Ya know the one, where you cross one leg in front of the other and jump up and down. Because that's smart. Gravity + Jumping + Weak Bladder = Totally stupid idea.

The bladder begins to laugh at me, but I am determined to finish washing those two plates, the blue sippy cup and the green dinosaur bowl. I will beat this.

So I suck in my stomach and I squeeze my legs shut. Yup, that will do it. I will win thing. I will not take the 5 seconds out of my day to run to the bathroom and just let it go.

I finish, the dishes are done, they are on the rack and drying and I run like the wind to the bathroom. Push a toddler out of the way, jump over a baby and make it just in time.

From the outside of the bathroom I hear, "Yay, Momma you did it! You pee-peed on the potty!!"

You're right Kid, I did do it. I showed that bladder who was boss.

No seriously, I would like my bladder back - the one that isn't the size of a corn kernel.


9 comments :

  1. LOL. I love this. I am pregnant with #3 right now and can relate every time I sneeze, cough, laugh, sit, stand... etc. You know :) But I know that once I have this baby, the flaky bladder won't go away and I don't look forward to it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha! This totally cracked me up! This is one of those mom things that nobody every told me about.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this! I don't know how many times I've thought through the same scenario myself. I couldn't make it the grocery store without needing to go.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ha ha, anyone who has ever been pregnant, can relate.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOl that is hysterical and I can so relate, I am the one who has to do a leg cross maneuver any time I sneeze so I don't pee on myself

    ReplyDelete
  6. Totally about peed my pants reading this!!!!! LOL! Ironic? Perhaps! LOLOL! Love you girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. SO true! I totally do the pee dance all the time. My husband smirks at me and tells me to stop whatever it is I'm busy with (usually dishwashing) and go to the toilet. Belts are the enemy for me at the moment. When the urge hits, I gotta run, run, run. No time for belt unbuckling here. Nope.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha! So funny:) I want my bladder back too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, GOSH! This made me laugh! Love it.

    ReplyDelete

I *heart* comments.
If you like my little blog I'd love for you to become a {Follower} so you can join in on the fun. If you leave a comment - make sure you stop back - I will reply to you right here on the blog! :)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...