Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Be Mine



I like Valentine's Day. Call me a hopeless romantic but I think its a cute holiday. Cheesy but cute.

Since joining the blogging world I have discovered that thinking outside the box is so much more fun than running to Target and buying the latest decorations. Don't get me wrong I love a trip to Target but creating something handmade is so much more special.

This project was free. I had everything on hand so all I needed to do was find a little time. It took me 30 minutes from start to finish.

I for the banner itself I used part of the drop cloth that I had bought for Landon's curtain project I cut them into triangles and used a stitch ripper to make two holes at the top of each triangle. I used the red yarn to thread through each triangle. Once that part was assembled I cut my letters out of pink felt by hand. I glued them on with mod podge and hung that baby up. Super Simple just the way I like it.


Linked up here

Monday, January 30, 2012

Month 2

Happy 2 Months Landon


Gah! Where does the time go?
And why didn't the last two months of my pregnancy fly by
like the last two months of Landon's life has?

He has grown so much in this last month
I don't have an itty bitty anymore that is for sure. 
I forgot how fast they grow. 


He is currently: 
Sleeping through the night 
can I get a hell yeah?!
Cooing
Watching himself in the mirror
Smiling


He Loves:
His swing - that's where he sleeps the best
His blankets - I may have another Little Linus on my hands
His Brother - If Landon is awake he is watching Oliver
their favorite thing is to hang out in the jungle together. 
Good times. 








Friday, January 27, 2012

Let's Have Coffee


Hello Friends..
How was your week?

If we met for coffee I'd tell you it would have to be over the phone.
We are a family of sickies this week
and I'd hate for you to catch our colds.
Blah. Winter.
I am so ready for warm weather
and not so many germs.


If we met for coffee I'd fill you in on Oliver's potty training
(lucky you)
 If you remember from this post
He's all for sitting on the potty
it's just getting him to go on it
that seems to be the problem.
He'll get it..he's sooo close.
I have M&Ms waiting for him
but that will be our little secret.

If we met for coffee
I'd share that my absolute bestest friend
 is pregnant.
I am beyond happy for her and her husband.
They are awesome "Aunt Jess and Uncle Joe"
to my kids.
There is no doubt in my mind they
will make amazing parents.
So she finally registered
I've been stalking their registry like crazy
if you can think of any must have item -
leave it in the comments for her!!

If we met for coffee I'd share with you that
this post got the most views ever out of all my posts on
Little Mudpies.
I am glad my story meant something to others.
When I went though it, I was very alone.
I don't want anyone to feel that way
so thanks for reading.


See ya next week
xo
Lindsay

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I Love Thee.....

 I gave Ryan his Valentine's Day gift early
really early
just so I could blog about it
How cute is that?
I found something like it months ago. I just saved a picture on my computer
this was before Pinterest*.
So I'm not sure where it originally came from
If you are the amazing creator of this
please let me know, and I'll give you credit for it.

I used white card stock and ripped the pages to give it a weathered look
Then I used my Cricut to cut out the letters.
I wrote the notes by hand to make it a little more personal.

I love it. Ryan loved it.
Now you can go make one for your sweetheart.

*speaking of Pinterest. If you would like an invite then email me littlemudpies@gmail.com and I will invite you!

Linked up here

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Dark Side of Motherhood


When I found out I was pregnant with Oliver,
I was thrilled.
Ecstatic.
Over the moon.

All I ever wanted was to be a mother.
When I was young and the teacher would ask
what we wanted to be when we grew up,
my answer was always, "A Momma".
I mean why couldn't I be?

So when the opportunity came to actually become a Momma,
I dove in head first.
I read books.
Some serious ones like "What to Expect When You're Expecting"
which scared the crap out of me by the way.
Some may disagree but I think that book does more harm than good.
And some silly books like, "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy"
and "Belly Laughs".
Those were more my speed.
They were true, honest and got down to the nitty gritty.
If it wasn't for those books I wouldn't of been prepared for the ugly.

I had an amazing pregnancy with Oliver.
I was never sick, I felt wonderful.
I was growing a human being.
I was grateful.
Sure I had my moments of irritability.
And moments of shear crazy.
Just ask Ryan about the ice cream incident.
But for the most part, it was good.
I was good.

Fast forward to February 16, 2010. 4:48pm to be exact.
I was a mom.
He was here, and he was perfect.
And I loved him. I loved him right?
I thought I did, but I wasn't sure.
It wasn't an immediate feeling.
If anything, I felt like I was in shock.
Shock from my not so pleasant delivery.
Shock from just having a baby.
And shock for becoming a mother.
A Momma. His Momma.
Someone completely responsible for keeping another human being
...a very tiny human being alive.
I began to feel very anxious.
What should of been a joyous time for me, wasn't. 
I laid there in the delivery room
with so many people around me and I felt so....
alone.
While everyone commented on how adorable, and healthy
...oh so healthy Oliver was.
No one asked about me.
While I laid there quiet and still, I was screaming inside.

It hit that quickly, the PPD.
The depression that is still such a secret.
A dirty little secret.
I didn't realize it the time. I just thought it was The Baby Blues.
Ya know, what those pregnancy books just graze over.
It wasn't serious.
And it sure as Hell wasn't happening to me.
But it was.

I loved my son. At least I thought I did.
I felt he deserved someone better than me.
Someone who could really love him.
Ya know like they show in TV and movies.
She has a baby and bam immediate love.
He deserved that.
Not this shell of a woman, going through the motions
pretending to be a mom.
A mother. His Momma.

I never wanted to hurt my son.
If anything I wanted to protect him.
From everything and everyone.
The anxiety I felt for him, towards him was crippling.
If we left the house I had to drive.
If we had plans, I'd cancel at the last minute.
I couldn't leave him.
With anyone. At all.
What if something happened to him?

I would sit and watch him sleep.
Fearful for him to stop breathing. Always listening.
I would jolt myself awake the minute I began to doze off.
I needed to stay awake.
I needed to constantly watch him.
Must. Not. Fall. Asleep.

The sleep deprivation does some crazy things to you.
No wonder its used to torture people.
I felt like I was being tortured, by my own self. 

I knew something was wrong.
This feeling wasn't going away.
It was past 3 weeks wasn't I suppose to start enjoying this time by now?
When would the horrible thoughts go away.
Thought of me falling down the stairs with Oliver in my arms.
Or someone breaking in.
Or the big tree in the front yard falling into our house.
Or Oliver falling off the counter. Why would he be on the counter?
Or me forgetting to put him back in his pack n play and rolling over him in my sleep.
Or something happening to my husband.
To Ryan, my lifeline.

Hello Crazy.

I knew it was time.
Time to make that call.
Time to admit this was bigger than I was and I needed help.
The doctor had me fill out this depression questioner.
"Circle one in each row" she said,  always, sometimes or never.
As she walked out of the room.
Leaving me with the questioner and my thoughts.
My crazy irrational thoughts.

Final verdict:
PPD with mild anxiety.
Yup, I could of told her that.
She wrote me a prescription for Zoloft and sent me on my way.

The pharmacist told me it would take a week or two before I would feel the difference.
I felt it after that first day.
I felt better.
Not quite "me" but I felt closer to being me.
The next day a little better.
After a week, I was up. Getting dressed and leaving the house.

Months went by and the anxiety continued to lessen.
It was there, the thoughts were always there. still are.
But they didn't stay very long.
And I didn't dwell on them.
And I didn't let them control me anymore.
It was working.
Thank God, it was working.

By the time Oliver was 3 months old. I felt like myself.
I felt happiness.
I enjoyed my son and my new life, as a momma.
His Momma.
I was accepting it and not fighting it anymore.

Having a baby changes you.
You start out as a woman, you give birth and you break down.
You bleed, and break and shed a lot of tears
But its the only way to be rebuilt into a mother.

PPD can happen to anyone.
You.
Me.
It doesn't discriminate and it doesn't let go.
But it doesn't have to control you.
It doesn't have to control me.
This was just my story on the "secret depression".
Something one may not even understand
unless they have been there.
It goes beyond hormones and being an emotional girl.
It goes beyond "sucking it up" and "tomorrow is another day".
It's real and it's scary.
But it doesn't have to last forever.

When I was pregnant with Landon I was worried it would happen again.
I spoke with my doctor about about my options
but in the end opted out of the prescription he offered to write for me
after I delivered Landon.
I felt different.
I felt that immediate love for my child.
And I didn't for once feel alone.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Happy Hair Cut Day

I treated myself and chopped my hair off
I feel like a brand new Momma.
Have a wonderful weekend!
xo


Friday, January 20, 2012

Let's Have Coffee


Week 3!
I have to say, I was a little nervous when I thought about creating this.
I wasn't sure if anyone would even care, let alone share what is going on in their world.
But I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised.

Actually, I am surprised people read this blog at all to be honest.
When I first started this I basically did it because I like my family and I like crafts. I didn't think people would actually read it.
And comment.
Comments are like the cats pajamas...whatever that means
in blogland.

Anyways, on to Let's Have Coffee...

If we met for coffee I'd tell you how I am getting cabin fever. The weather just started getting 'wintery' and I am already ready for Spring.
I don't like feeling trapped.
A nice customer of Ryan's told me about this open gym for kids every Friday so as long as the weather is nice, I am taking Oliver.
He needs to release some of his energy elsewhere


If we met for coffee I'd tell you that I'm planning a birthday party for this dude.

TWO.
He is going to be two years old.
That makes me want to throw up.
Next thing I know he'll be asking for the car keys. 
It's pirate themed.
I can't wait to share all the decorations and cake with you.

If we met for coffee I'd tell you that I lost 4 pounds. And that is worth celebrating so I bought myself some new glittery nail polish.
Glitter make everything more exciting.

Thanks for the coffee break.
See you next week
xo 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Snow Days


We finally got hit with some snow over the weekend.
I have to admit it's been nice not having any
but I did kind of miss it for Christmas.
It's not the same without it.


Oliver has been dying to play in the 'nos' so Ryan took him out.
It was freezing but Oliver didn't care.
He cried when it was time to come in.



That child has so much energy
getting him out in the fresh air was nice.
It makes me sad because I would love to take him out more
but with Landon, I'm still not sure how
to manage both of them.
I haven't figured out how to be in two places at once.
That's why it's so nice having Ryan home on the weekends.
Granted, it throws off Oliver's whole routine and makes him me crazy 
but it's okay.
He loves his Dad. And needs that time with him.
and having another set of hands...and eyes
gives me a small break.
It's when I get some 'me time'.
And Oliver is like Ryan's shadow so I always know where he is.  



Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Cookie Dough Dip

So in my quest to get healthy I went searching for some healthier recipes.
That's when I discovered this


Cookie Dough Dip that is healthy(er).
It couldn't be.

I was skeptical seeing the number one ingredient is
wait for it....


chickpeas.

Yes, that's correct. Cookie dough made out of chickpeas.
So basically hummus.
I'm down with hummus
but I usually like it with roasted red peppers
and served with pita chips.
Not chocolate chips and graham crackers.

Still I was intrigued.
So before you say, "no way Lindsay not in a million years"
hear me out.
This dip is awesomsauce.

So amazing that I asked Ryan if he wanted to try it.
I didn't tell him what was in it
even though he likes chickpeas
I knew what his reaction would be
if he knew.
He loved it.

Then I came clean and told him
there were chickpeas in there.

After the initial eye roll and
him calling me a liar.
He said exactly what I said
 you can't even tell.

Now I'd love to take credit for this lovely concoction
but I am far from that talented.
This recipe came from Her
she is a superstar when it comes to
creating healthy desserts
and she's my new hero.

Oh and Oliver loved it too. That's a win in my book.
Now go and try it. And come back and tell me what you think!!


Monday, January 16, 2012

DIY Clay Bracelets

I love jewelry. I don't wear much anymore because of the boys but
that doesn't mean I'm not still obsessed with it.

My latest obsession is polymer clay.
You can pretty much make anything out of it
so I figured, why not make some jewelry.


I'm sure there are many tutorials on how to make
bracelets out of clay. But here is how I do it.

First you will need
Clay in assorted colors
Sharp knife or razor blade
Bracelet - to use as a guide
Cookie sheet

You'll want to use your razor blade to cut off a chunk of the clay. Work it between your hands to soften it up a bit then roll it out into a snake shape.


 If you choose to make a multi-colored bracelet take one color and wrap it   around the other

Roll the two strands together with the palm of your hand to blend them.

Take your bracelet and wrap the clay around it to make a circle. Connect the ends of the clay and smooth out with your fingers. Take the bracelet out and put your clay bracelet on a cookie sheet.


Bake at 275 for 20-25 minutes.


Linking up at these awesome parties





Friday, January 13, 2012

Let's Have Coffee


If you're not sure what Let's Have Coffee is you can read about it here.

Hello Friends.

How was your week?

Ours was nice.
It started out a little rocky.
Ryan didn't feel well over the weekend and ended up at Immediate Care on Sunday.
He was having neck pains which he thought was a swollen gland.
Turns out he has a pulled tendon.
I told him he was getting old.

Happy 76th Birthday to my amazingly wonderful grandmother.
I'm saving her gifts for another post - just in case she's a snooper.

Landon smiles.
And he currently weighs 11 pounds 4 oz. And he's 23.5 inches long.
Oh and he's only 6 weeks old.
Chubs.
I love him.

Thanks for the coffee break
See you next week
xo

Thursday, January 12, 2012

My Weight Loss Journey

 Source via Lindsay on pinterest
Well its the New Year. And with the new year, comes new promises to get healthy.  Honestly, I would be on this journey even if it wasn't the new year.

Writing this out is hard. It's about as hard as it is for me to look in the mirror most days. It's about as hard as trying on every article of clothing I own and discovering they don't fit. Its about as hard as it is to discover my 'fat pants' are now my 'don't even maybe fit' pants.

Everyone keeps telling me to cut myself some slack. I did just have a baby after all. While that is true, it still doesn't make it right. Or take the sting away. And if we're getting specific I've actually had two babies...in less than 2 years.

I am the heaviest I have ever been. And even though the thought of posting my weight for all the world to see makes me want to throw up, I am going to do it anyway.

I currently weigh 170lbs.

That's depressing. But writing it out is holding me accountable - if its out and posted, its not my dirty secret anymore.

I have never been super skinny but I have been thin and I liked the way I looked. Now, I am far from thin and I really don't like the way I look. I have always had a love/hate relationship with food but when I was younger I had a high metabolism on my side. After I had Oliver that slowed down, way down.

Pregnancy really does change..... everything.

I gained 20 pounds when I was pregnant with Oliver - I lost all of that weight within the first few months of Oliver's life.  But becoming a stay at home mom I eventually started gaining it all back. By the time Oliver turned a year I was back up to 160lbs.

Then I got pregnant again.

So I started my 2nd pregnancy almost 30 pounds heavier than I did with my first.  I was conscious of what I ate when I was pregnant with Landon and I let myself give into the craving but I did it in moderation. I also exercised more the 2nd time around. I was 183 pounds the day I delivered Landon.

I started Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago. I haven't lost any weight yet, but tracking my food has helped me make smarter decisions. Actually reading the labels has put a lot of things into perspective and has changed the way I look at food.

Food is no longer my crutch. Food is no longer that 'friend' I turn to when everything is falling apart or I am having a bad day. I realize now that I don't need food to make me happy. Being conscious of my feelings and emotions is one of the best things I can do for myself. Because when I am emotional I eat - and it's usually unhealthy. Finding other outlets is going to be difficult but I need to do this. Not only for myself but for my children.

Writing about my issues with my weight is difficult, but I have two beautiful children and for that I am thankful. My body did amazing things - by housing two babies and delivering them, it deserves to be treated with respect. Baby fat is cute on my kids...not on their momma.

If you have struggled with your weight or are still struggling I invite you to join me on this journey.  If you have successfully lost weight, I invite you to share your tips and tricks. Let's do this together!

Source Lindsay via Pinterest

Source Lindsay via Pinterest


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Let's Get This Potty Started

source

I can't believe I am even writing a post about potty training. Where did my baby go?

Oliver has been interested for awhile. When I say interested I mean he likes to follow us to the bathroom. He also likes to follow our guests. It makes for some awesome awkward times in our household.

Like I said Oliver is interested. And he appears ready. However, I don't know if I am. Granted, I really could do without two kids in diapers. But this milestone is big, huge. It means that my baby really isn't a baby anymore. That's a big pill to swallow. I know I need to just get over it and set aside a few days and just do it but the thought of him potty trained makes me sad.

Maybe I'm weird. I am.

We have introduced the potty to him. He has two, the little chair one that he likes to take the 'pee bucket' out of and wear as a hat. And the little seat that goes on the regular toilet. That one seems to be working better. He has sat on it a few times, but never actually gone to the bathroom. Apparently he thinks just sitting on the toilet is going 'poopoo and pee'.

So my question is to those of you who have kids, how did you do it? The whole potty training process seems pretty easy. I've read about letting the kids hang out in underwear for a few days and take them to the bathroom every 15 minutes or so. Has anyone tried that? How did it work? Any advice is welcome and the best way to clean up accidents from a carpet, because I am sure we will have a few of those too.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Be Present


How cute is that?
Please excuse that horrible picture. That's what I get for taking it at 7pm in a poorly lit room. blah.

 Erika over at Opps, I Craft my Pants (seriously, I laugh every time I read that)
made a handy dandy reminder to stay in the moment.
I often find myself lingering a little too long
on the internet or always fiddling with my phone
Now I have a nice slap back to reality right where I can see it.

She made a bunch of them. So if you need a reminder to
be present and to stay in the moment
head on over to her blog and
get one for yourself.

Happy Monday


Friday, January 6, 2012

Let's Have Coffee


Let's Have Coffee is a new post that I plan to do every Friday.
Basically a 'catch up' from the week.
I'd love to share every detail of my life on this blog but then I would never get anything else done. So Let's Have Coffee is my way of sharing the little things.
I ask for you to join in on the fun. If you have a blog leave the link in the comments sections below. If you don't have a blog but would like to share then share right in the comments section.

If we met for coffee I would tell you about cleaning up after Christmas. How every year when I pack up the decorations and the tree I say that I need to organize more. Make better use of our space and storage.
This time I did it. Tossed some ornaments that had seen better days. Found a way to store the lights neatly and not in one jumbled mess and labeled the bins that house all of the decor.
I'd tell you that I could get use to this organization thing.

If we met for coffee I'd share with you that love that I feel for my sweet little family. That Oliver is growing like a weed and his sweet smile gets him out of trouble.

I'd share with you that Landon is sleeping in longer stretches at night and staying awake more during the day.


I'd also let you know that my husband is pretty awesome.


So that's it.
See how easy it was.
That's what has been going on in my little bubble this week.

But now I want to hear from you.

How was your Christmas?

Did you do anything special for New Years?

What was your favorite gift you gave or received?

See you next week

xo

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Less is More

Its a new year. And a new year brings on resolutions. I don't really like the word "resolution". People start out all excited to complete their 'resolutions' then come February they get put on the back burner and forgotten.

I like setting goals for myself. So instead of resolutions I use the word goals. And I set them every few months. Why go so big, when you can take small baby steps and actually complete something.

My main goal for 2012 is to simplify. Simplify my life, my mind, my home and even Little Mudpies.

This goal is constantly evolving and it never really ends. I will never completely simplify every aspect of my life but carving out chunks here and there make the bigger picture clearer.

Think about your home. I know for us we have a basement of stuff. Its in bins, I'm not even sure I could tell you what was exactly in those bins unless I opened them. What good is it to me when it lives in a bin in my dark, damp basement?

I will admit I am a hoarder. Not as crazy as those people on TV but I hold on to stuff. I am a sentimentalist also. If it has any type of sentimental value I keep it. Even if it lives in a box. In my basement.

This year I made it a goal to go though those bins and purge. I am allowing myself to keep 3 things from each box. I have dishes from my grandmother that passed away years ago. I have grown to love collecting bowls and vintage dishes and plates. I plan to keep those. Find a place in my home for them and show them off. They no longer need to live in a box. In my basement. I don't however need her outdated Christmas decor. I know I will never use it so there is no use to keep it.

Think about your life and all the 'stuff' in it. Maybe its material things or maybe it's people, or events you are holding on to. It's okay to let them go if they are holding you down or back.

source

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I Feel Like I'm Being Suffociated By Toys



Toys are taking over my house.
Seriously, they are everywhere.
Multiplying like rabbits.

With Christmas came more toys.
It got my wheels moving.
I needed a way to keep the toys together
yet accessible to Oliver.
I also needed something decent looking
seeing we don't have a toy room.
why do we not have a toy room!?

Enter my new favorite item.

I stopped by Target and picked up a bunch.
They are under $2 a box so it was my kind of deal.

I knew I wanted them labeled.
Even though Oliver cant read,
Ryan can and if its labeled then
I know everything will be put back in its
proper box.

So I used some card stock in bright primary colors
and cut the letters out using my Cricut

I spread a layer of Mod Podge on the container
I used masking tape to keep all my letters even.
I glued on all my letters and let them dry.



Once they were dry I spread another layer of
Mod Podge over the letters to seal them.

I pulled off the tape and stacked them up.
I think they turned out nice.


I may just do that for all the items in
my house.




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