Now its been this way for awhile, not completely broken as in it doesn't work at all. Just kind of broken, like it doesn't clean anything. So you load it expecting it to maybe work and the dishes come out just as dirty as when they went in.
But its okay, because today I thought about perspective.
I stood at my sink while the boys played around me and it all came to me. That sometimes the easy way isn't always the best way. Sometimes slowing down, really is better.
I watched a bee flying around my spirea bushes. Going from flower to flower, just gently touching down. Soft enough not to disturb the purple wildflowers that are growing up between the bushes. I never even knew those purple flowers were there.
Have they been here this whole time and I just never noticed? Why didn't I notice?
I watched birds perched on the wire outside my window. Softly singing their song or warning each other that a storm is rolling in. I've never been a bird watcher, but I was content just standing there watching them at this moment.
I could see the neighbors vegetable garden, the one the kids planted themselves. Growing and thriving, drinking in all the water that has been rained down upon us these last few days.
The gray sky and how even though it was gloomy, I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel the need for sunshine today and how I was alright with the colorless sky.
I felt the water and decided that it was far too hot. That maybe we need to turn the hot water tank down and why I never thought of that before. What if one of the kids were to stick their hands under the faucet and the water was that hot?
I felt guilt for a moment, for not thinking of it sooner. But I let it go. I knew now and now I can do something about it.
The warm water, the slippery plates clinking around in our old, white, stained sink. I thought about how very blessed I am for the family that gathers at the table every night to eat the meals off these plates.
I thought about the laughs and the memories made at our table, the joy on the faces of these two children when their dad walks though the door. I thought about the meals and the moment. The happiness and even some tears.
Sure there are tears, but its okay. Because they don't last forever.
We hug and laugh about it and move on.
I don't miss my dishwasher as much as I thought I would. I will be happy when its fixed and I can mechanically load it full and shut the door and move on to the next thing on my forever long to do list.
But at this moment I was okay with stopping and taking in the beauty of the dirty dish water.